I realized this morning, that I have let time get away without recording it. I am 30 now, and time brings more perspective and also a harder skin. I care far less about what people think. I have always done what was right, regardless, but I have also been quiet about it when I might be misunderstood. In my consideration of others, and trying so hard not to offend, I didn't post anything here. In the end, it meant that I have missed out on sharing the wonders of this past year, and I feel the loss. I apologize to my readers for allowing myself to become so closed, but mostly I apologize to my Sweetheart and my children. If something had happened to me this past year, they would have been left with so little.
I don't know if I ever explained the name of my blog, but today I wanted to give my perspective on how to live and love life.
I have always been close to God. It is a gift that I feel everyday, and it sorrows me when others seem lost and without that connection. I wish I could give to all the comfort and security that it brings to me. No matter the storms that rage around me, there is in my life a peace and delight that makes the storm seem insignificant and almost unreal. It reminds me of the parable of the house built upon a rock. Solid, immovable, those who live in such a house remain cosy, warm, and able to look out upon the storm and appreciate the beauty of the lightning. Add a cup of hot chocolate, and it becomes a beautiful evening and a wonderful memory.
I have always felt like I fly through life. I follow the current, go up and down, occasionally landing to catch my breath, and then take off again. When I look back, I find that even hard times are just a blink in the vast experience that I am gathering. This perspective helps me when those difficult moments are on top of me, but it also helps me capture and remember the beauty that is all around me. The blessings of friendship, love, and the natural beauty of God's creations make everyday a real joy.
Going forward, I am going to try harder to capture my joy more completely. For today, here are my little joys:
4 comments:
Here's what I say . . . it's your blog and you have the right to say whatever you want! People don't HAVE to read it, so don't even worry about offending someone.
I can't believe how grown up your kids are!!!
I have terrible news for you: those children cannot be your kids! They are WAY to big, and I know that much time just HAS not passed. After all, my boys are still babies . . . right? RIGHT?
But those lovely children who are much too old to be your children are very, very cute.
I can sympathize with your not wanting to offend people with your posts, that's part of the reason why my blog is only visible to myself. I had so many run ins with people getting offended because they assume that my posts where referring to them. when in reality, they were the last person on my mind when I blogged if they even were in mind at all at the time I wrote said posts.
I still feel that blogging/journaling is an important part of a sane person's life; for me it affords me the ability to analyze and dissect my thoughts and feeling regarding a particular happening or issue.
I think of it to be like a pensive a la harry potter, a place where you can deposit your thoughts, feelings and memories so that you can later revisit them with an objective mind or discard the negative experiences so is not longer inside of you.
I know that when I don't blog I get emotionally constipated and I start getting physically ill ( my migraines tend to get more nasty and I tend to get more self-destructive than usual).
not to mention my command of The English language suffers greatly.
Anyway is nice to see you post again, I enjoy reading about your life since with kids and everyday life it gets so busy we rarely have a chance to visit.
Yeah you're back!
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